August 2025

Moving to Italy in a month'ish. I'm telling myself I'll have lots of time to get all caught up with this thing. 😏

January 1st 2025

I haven't forgotten about you. 

Included on this year's list of topics (which may or may not be addressed) are things like:

- Heart attack (4/19/2021)

- Heart transplant (tx) (2/1/2024)

- First year after tx

- Broken stuff and Titanium fixes

- Retiring

- What I look forward to in Italy

- Other stuff

- Requests accepted. 

JM

Summer 2024 Note to self:

I should probably start putting stuff in here about me (thus the blog's title, duh) and the whole heart attack/heart transplant thing. I think I have something already in here somewhere about the COVID thing but I'm not sure ... I should check that, too.  I need to do this (for the grandkids: Jack, Charlie, Hank, D.B., and Poppy - at the moment)  before I forget and then am not here (or there) anymore. 

That would suck.

This post was entered with my cell phone. In the  dark.  Talking, not typing. I just woke up and my eyes are still closed. 

Pretty cool.

Now there's a river in the air?

Weatherpeople Warn of "Atmospheric River" <= Clicky Clicky

How long is this going to be a thing?

 Dirty Air Map  <= Click that

Making your bed - whatever ...

It's a good way to keep your bedding stuff aired-out, but I don't think that "making your bed in the morning" gives you any more of a sense of accomplishment than does intentionally not doing so.  But it sold speaking gigs and a book for the guy who pushed the idea not long ago, as I understand, so more power to 'im.

Another CrappyAir-filled Weekend

4th of July = Tuesday this year.  Tttthhhhppppbbbb.

Smoke from Canadian Wildfires Hits DC

 

Looks bad from the balcony here.  Smells worse.

Mystery of The Musser Stone

Coming in May to a Theater Near You

Heroes aren't born. They're built. Get ready for a different breed of heavy metal hero.

The Last Pandemic

The Last One of These Lasted 2 and a Half Years?!

    I began writing this post in pieces somewhere in September of 2020, after having been working from home ("teleworking") since mid-March of that same year.

    When I first began, making notes really, I remember thinking:

    "I should keep notes.  This is *crazy!*  6 months?  Really?  How much longer can this go?"

    Who knew?  

    Nobody, that's who.

    At first, I was amazed that 'they' were estimating: 

"This could last well into May."

    Then the Summer of 2020 was over.

   
    Then the Fall of 2020 was over.

    Then December 2020 came and went.

    And now, as I finish cleaning up these notes that make up this post, we will be a few days away from Spring of 2021.  And the one-year anniversary of my COVID-year will have come and gone.  

    As it turns out, President Biden will also be speaking to the nation today re: this same 'anniversary.'  So, apparently the day I was sent home to work was the same day that the U.S. officially decided that things were serious and getting out of control.

    For a full year as of today, I have remained indoors for as much of the day as I can.   Early on, I figured it was probably a good idea to be *in*doors when people are most likely to be out and about.  While most people began complaining about being 'locked down,' as many still call it, I had no problems with the isolation.  I've become a hermit - on purpose.  

    Since not too long into this 'new normal' I have been making an effort to try to keep to pre-pandemic hours and the same general routine as I did before 11 March of last year.  It didn't take but a few days of working from home to clearly realize that I needed to do *something* that would fight off the 'weirdness' of being in one spot for both work and non-work all the time.  

    I would bet that people who work on a farm don't have as much of that problem during this pandemic thing.   Lots of room, no crowds to deal with.  I could be totally wrong -- it's been a while since I visited a farm and I don't think anyone in my family runs one any longer or I'd ask them.  I'd have also thought that living in a secluded community would have been a good way to live during the past year, but they didn't have any better idea either ... people would 'go off the reservation' and come back to the community and *boom* -- now their community not only got sick in days, but they were 'secluded' and hard to get to for help.

    Actually, since maybe three months into this thing (less than that, maybe), mental health professionals began recommending that we try to maintain as much of our pre-pandemic routines as possible to avoid depression from the isolation (self-imposed or not) and things like that.  So, I try to get out the door by 0450, simulate the walk I used to make on work days to catch the first Metro to the Navy Yard station and then walking back.  This is about a 3-mile'ish walk.  Maintaining a routine as much as possible does, in fact, seem to help.

***

    I would take the dog in a little wagon and do minor grocery shopping at the local 7-11 or CVS Pharmacy sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning.  This would make me feel better because I was getting in at least half the steps I used to get during my commute to work.  I was also able to avoid coming into contact with anyone except the grocery clerks who are all usually more than 6 feet away, sometimes wearing *two* masks of some sort, if not working behind plexiglass barriers.  

    The experts say '30-minutes' of brisk walking per day is good.  Though I may not always be 'briskly walking', at least I'm getting in that prescribed 30 minutes of walking and doing my best to reduce breathing death.   There's a set of 33 stairs along my 'route' which I run up and run down as an excuse to not walk as 'briskly' as I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be.

    I noticed maybe 1 or 2 days before that day that in March that "people were getting weird".

    After being sent home just as the Spring of 2020 was giving it up to Summer, instead of making plans to take a vacation to Italy or maybe go to Disney World and (or?) visit family, we were all told:

" ... stay home, don't gather in areas with lots of people and don't travel long distances to visit with family ... stay home."  

    So people stayed home - for a while.  But Americans, uniquely I think, got 'weird.'   

    For example, to prevent somebody else from taking all the stuff thought to be important (only because everybody *else* thought it was important enough to hoard it) everyone wanted toilet paper, bottled water, hand sanitizer, and canned goods in local supermarkets.  But I also noticed that many of those same people who felt it necessary to beat someone else to hogging all the stuff also refused to wear masks as 'suggested' (not mandated).  So ... people were worried enough about COVID-19 to hoard supplies for themselves, but not worried enough to wear masks.  I was even wearing rubber surgical gloves everywhere for quite a while.  I also couldn't figure out why some people would wear masks but then not have a problem touching their faces, rubbing their eyes, etc.  My policy was 'buy twice as much as normal of any item purchased and put the 'other half' in a closet on a shelf.'

    Very early on (but after  'wash your hands') the wearing of medical type PPE masks was recommended as the easiest way to prevent the spread of the virus - along with maintaining a distance of at least 6 feet from others.  But I suppose people don't always think right.  It's a uniquely American sentiment:  "You can't tell me what to do!  I'm an American!"  Some people find it no more palatable to be told 'wear a mask so you don't infect others with a disease you may not know you have' than they do thinking the government is going to come to their home and take their guns. Maybe it's not a uniquely American way to think, but maybe it is.

    Prior to being sent home to work a year ago, my boss had asked me if I wanted to take off early to go out and see if I could find some supplies.  He had gone out already some days before and said he felt he was successful in accumulating 2 weeks of supplies.   He recommended I do the same, so I did.  At the time, that was supposed to have been enough.  Two weeks' worth of stuff.   

    Honestly, I don't think I was taking things seriously enough.  I was probably recalling some overly-panicked folks acting similarly when almost similar flu-warning was being blared when 'The Avian Flu' was thought to be on the verge of becoming a pandemic.  I guess all that hand sanitizer took care of that panic.  Hand sanitizer and a lot of training about pandemics.  Of course, I don't remember learning anything about the 1918 Spanish flu during that training while I was stationed in Italy, either.  But I'm sure somebody could prove me wrong because we had computers there.  I know.  I used them a lot.  And Powerpoint presentations. They had those, too.  So I won't accuse anyone of not pointing out the last global pandemic.  They might send me their Powerpoint presentation and make me feel bad.

    "COVID-19 information" was still, by my recollection, somewhat sparse and not being disseminated very well when I was sent home last year.  Well, let me rephrase that:  "information concerning *the seriousness of COVID-19* was not being disseminated very well, because nobody really knew much about it."   DISCLAIMER:  "Of course, I could be wrong."

    It was either that or it was my issue with being hesitant to read or listen to many commercial news sources; commercial/network websites and television 'broadcasts', etc.  Are we still supposed to call them 'broadcasts' or do we now just call them 'programs'?  I have this "attention issue" for many reasons, really.  It's not a 'fake news' issue, I don't think.  I mean, if I owned a television network or a newspaper, I'm pretty sure that I'd let all my affiliates know that I wanted them to present the news the way I wanted it to be biased, er ... sorry ... "presented".  I think, anyway.

    Anyway, it's that, plus the fact that I also get annoyed by many (most?) commercials and advertising in general.   

    To be honest, sometimes I just don't pay attention because I'm not interested (after giving someone a chance to be interesting, of course) and am usually thinking about something else I find more interesting.   It's obvious to me that, if I'm thinking about something else besides that which I'm supposed to be paying attention that *my* something is more important than *their* something.  Right?  No?

    (I added that last paragraph just in case someone wishes to say something like 'Yes, we did tell you how dangerous this COVID thing was, you just weren't paying attention.')

    I do recall a few of my coworkers (while still working in an actual-honest-to-goodness pre-COVID cubicle farm) seriously putting out their hands as others would come near them as they said:

    "Hey! Social Distancing!  Keep 6 feet away!"  

    I remember thinking  "What's this?  'A new thing'?"  I also remember signs all over like those in the Metro station under the Pentagon on my way home:  

"KEEP CALM AND WASH YOUR HANDS."   

    Still, in March of 2020, I don't remember anyone telling me that they knew how serious this pandemic could possibly get.  I do remember, though, that there was an effort at work to put together some COVID information on a website-sorta-thing ... hmmm.  So I guess I must have been at least somewhat aware that people were getting pretty nervous before they sent me home.   Maybe I really *wasn't* paying attention. 

 

    My older sister thinks I just don't 'keep up'.  

    For example:  Apparently nobody uses e-mail anymore to communicate, she says.  Everybody sends IMs from one platform or another, I guess.  I just don't pay attention.  No wonder nobody answers my e-mails at work.   I'm sorry.  Did you say something?  

    I was probably under the impression that this was all 'just another precautionary thing'.  Maybe something along the lines of (okay, worse than) 'Legionnaires Disease' or the 'Avian Flu' almost-pandemic that scared people while I was stationed in Italy.  At *that* time, there were medical folks warning of a pandemic then and bottles of hand sanitizer were all over.  Or, my memory could be all jacked-up and I'm just disremembering things already.  

    In 100 years, I probably won't remember any of this COVID-19/pandemic stuff, either.  Which is what happened this time.  Except for maybe 1 or 2 people on the planet, every one who was around in 1918 is dead.  They didn't have computers to record stuff back then, nobody today knows how to use paper-filing systems, and then there was that big fire at the warehouse in 1942 and all the records were lost, so ...

    So. Yep.  It's been one full year of this global pandemic that's killed well over a half-million Americans.  Longer than that, I guess, depending on how you measure it.   Was it November/December of 2019 or February of 2020?  Regardless, "COVID-19" was what they called it by the time I thought it might be something to take seriously.  

    "COVID-19" is an acronym for:  the name of virus (COrona), the word "Virus", the word "Disease", and the year it is said to have begun wreaking havoc upon the planet.  It used to have a longer name, something like:  "2019 novel coronavirus" or "2019-nCOV" but I would be willing to bet that the short version we all use now is because today's media outlets needed something easier for their people to spell and pronounce because ... well ... that's a whole n'other blog post.  But you only hear the longer version used by people who like to show off ... or from Dr. Anthony Fauci.  He can call it whatever he wants.  

    For a long while, I was calling it 'CORVID-19'.  Fortunately, a friend pointed out:

    "Dude, you're doing it wrong -- you probably still use e-mail, don't you."  

    Just now, I was about to type "Google is your friend." 

    But I decided there is a better way of expressing "common and actual facts are available by searching the internet on your own."  But you need to be careful.  You need to be able to exercise some degree of skill in differentiating fact from fiction.   For example:  It is a fact that the last time people on this planet experienced anything like this was in the year 1918.  Most people called it "The Spanish Flu" although it had other names.  But it is *not* a fact that there is a:

" ... disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And there is a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning?  As you see, it gets in the lungs, it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that."

(There are some things that just don't sound right when heard or seen.  Which apparently has no bearing on whether or not people will believe things like that when they hear them based primarily on who says them.)

Here's a good article from Smithsonian Magazine that compares (and distinguishes differences) between the 1918 pandemic -- that we collectively forgot about that one until this one snuck up on us.  Important to note is that "you can't really compare the two."  The article explains some of the differences.

    As of not too many months ago (is "It's only been a year" an exaggeration?) it didn't seem that anyone had learned a lot since 1918.  Although that may not be exactly accurate.

    Except for the fact that occasional mentions were made over the past year in the televised (or 'streaming') news programs (ooo! See?  I'm 'current' and 'with it'!) and other media outlets like " ... we have not experienced anything like this pandemic since 1918 ... ", some apparently did learn from prior history that to 'wear masks, maintain social distancing, and close the schools' seemed like a good way to prevent the spread of the flu.  

    While many people alive today may have even learned 'pandemic lessons' from history (by Googling 'Spanish Flu'), it is possible that some may have preferred to sound more current and authoritative by claiming 'According to the CDC ... ' or 'According to Dr. Fauci ...' or 'According to the Johns Hopkins map ...' because nobody wants to claim that they know what they know or think what they think based on something from 1918.  

    And masks were different back then.  I would imagine that it wasn't very easy to get a 'Hello Kitty' mask or a fashion-coordinated mask to go with your various outfit colors.   Masks then were made of gauze or other materials even more porous.  Who'd wanna wear those?

    Also unlike 2020/2021, they couldn't put together vaccinations in record time against the pandemic they experienced in 1918.  And the recommended method then to reduce the chances of getting sick pretty much amounted to - like this time around: 'wash your hands and wear a mask'.  We're now all looking forward to reaching 'herd immunity' via vaccinations.  Well, via vaccinations distributed as widely as possible *after* well over a half million people died in the United States alone since the pandemic began. 

    Sometimes I wonder if some people last year weren't thinking 'just let it go' and handle it like they did a hundred years ago.  "It'll eventually go away after enough people get sick."

    In 1918, like now, lots of people didn't like being told what to do by their government either.  Just like this time around, some people even thought wearing masks was a bad practice.  They held rallies and parties where nobody wore a mask (in a show of defiance of being told what to do) which ended up making the virus spread faster and making more people sicker faster.  

    One public service announcement from the Red Cross then even went so far as to publicly state:  " ... the man or woman or child who will not wear a mask now is a dangerous slacker."  I don't think the Red Cross would be allowed to put out a commercial like that nowadays.  President Biden said that wearing one is patriotic ... a little different than telling someone they're an idiot because they don't.    

    That last pandemic lasted 2.5 years.  We just hit the 1 year-mark today.

  

Update:  8 March 2021 - A public mask-burning ceremony held at Idaho Capitol Building

... sigh ...

Another DISCLAIMER:

    As I type *this* sentence, it's the day after Valentine's day, 2021.  In addition to this COVID thing, I suffered a personal loss that has affected me to a degree over the past two months or so that my 'perspective' on this whole 'global pandemic' thing, and pretty much everything else in life, has drastically changed.  I put this paragraph into this post just in case I need to explain why I maybe have (I'm not sure) or you detect a sort of cavalier attitude about this whole thing (see previous post in this blog).

    Although many commanders of many federal, state, and local installations; military bases, chain stores like '7-11,' CVS, etc., were making the decision months ago to enforce mask-wearing, social distancing, and taking all sorts of measures to prevent the spread of this thing - it wasn't declared *mandatory* for masks to be worn (on Federal Property, at least) until after President Joe Biden took a shot at making that the case sometime after 20 January 2021.   President Biden's word was 'patriotic.'

    As I type *this* paragraph, it's 5 March, 2021.  It's approximately three months after it became mandatory to wear anti-COVID masks by Presidential Executive Order.  And a few days ago, mayors and governors in some U.S. states - Texas, Mississippi - and states (Detroit is the only one I can recall at the moment) have quite dramatically announced that 'mandatory mask wearing' is no longer required and they've lifted this requirement.  I have no words to express how I feel about that nor do I think I'll be done thinking about that prior to posting these rambling paragraphs.

    As I currently understand the situation, I am expecting to be working from home well into 2021, perhaps into December.  But "nobody knows for sure".  We'll see.

    This pandemic has closed businesses.  Large and small.  Some permanently, some temporarily.  Some have luckily been able to reopen.  People have lost their jobs.  More people are actually living on the streets.  Restaurants have closed.  Bars have closed.  Retail outlets of all sorts have closed.  It's trashed the American economy for many many people.  As of 10 March 2021, there is a bajillion dollar relief program about to be signed by the President to provide financial relief to individuals, businesses, schools and various other entities and institutions trashed by this pandemic.

The streets are quiet in the early AM hours.

    This is why I think so many people now, like those during the last pandemic the world experienced, are so impatient to 'return to normal.'  It's inconvenient.  They can't work and they're *just wanting to 'go back to work'.*  Don't care how.  Don't care why.  They just know that they can't pay bills so they're just wanting to *just go back to work*.  This time, however, because of the internet, there really is going to be 'a new normal.'  

    Nowadays, the streets are so quiet.  Nervous stares as people pass each other.  Heads down, masks on our faces.  Oddly, being the grumpy person I am:  I am onboard with not having to deal with anyone except the cashier at the 7-11.   I only wish I had the job I used to have and found ideal was still possible to hold; one in which it was my responsibility to 'make things happen as planned.'  It was a 'people job.'  And I found it very validating to hear senior government, military, and civilian leaders I met and chatted with agree with me.  "People are stupid," one admiral from a foreign navy said to me once.

     We were talking about something entirely different at the time and we laughed.  But that sentence may sum up this whole stupid post and explain why we are in the situation we're in.

    I hope you have a better 2021 than last year.

- JM -

Renna

1992 - 2021

Renna (Irene Nichole Louise) Musser 

(Proceeds from purchases of Renna's art will go to the American Heart Association.)

 

Scroll thru her pix & art at:

https://www.facebook.com/i.nicole.7/

or

https://www.redbubble.com/people/GypdianArt/explore

On a hike in Keeseville, NY

Christening, NY/NY

During visits to Naples, IT  

 

The world lost a pure soul today,

Wednesday, 20 January 2021.

 

 

Butterfly Kisses (at bedtime)

Survey *says* ...

I'm interested in your opinion:

Which kind of bag do you prefer to use during your Every Day Carry (EDC)? 

• Back-pack?
• Wheeled bag (the kind w/a retractable handle)?
• Tote bag?
• Messenger bag?
• Briefcase?
• Purse?
• Just your pockets?
• A bag from someplace you've never shopped (except maybe for one of their bags)?
• Plastic bag from your pharmacy or grocery store?

  

Whichever style you prefer:  

1. Why do you prefer it over the other styles?  
2. Have you ever used one style and switched to another?  Why was that?  
3. What are your opinion(s) about the other 'methods of carrying' your EDC?

If you'd rather not be "identified,"  you may reply/post anonymously in the comments below (I'm pretty sure you can comment anonymously ... if not, lemme know).

I have been watching 'bag people' (those of us who carry bags to/from work) during the AM and PM Metro runs.  There are definitely more people who do than don't use a bag of some type.  I have been asking people (yep, total strangers who, after I convince them I'm not nuts, nor am I working for Jimmy Fallon or Kimmel or whoever) for their opinion(s) about the different kinds of bags people use (and the one *they* use).  Before I post the pictures of the 'bag people' I've been collecting and what I'm finding out, I'd like to get your opinion.  And stuff.

Please provide your answers, feedback, and emotional outbursts where it says "Comments" ... click on the link to "Post a comment" below.

Thanks in advance.  Film at 11.

JM(M)

Amazon's Alexa-thing is 5 Years Old, Smarter Than Me, and I Don't Care

I seem to be getting older, too.  It's weird.

I'm sorry, some folks might not like that.

To avoid offending anyone, I should rephrase:

"As my chrono-biological advancement process progresses, I have been noticing some uniquely odd moments."

Much better.

I'm concerned about these "odd moments" because it seems as though I am experiencing a more rapidly increasing version of an already rapid process.  I'm pretty sure that my internal clock-system-thing is developing a method for itself to capture these moments because it thinks I'm not paying attention.   It's catching the odd moments like a cellphone-camera and sending mental image-alerts to smash into my consciousness (the part that I pay attention to, anyway) and say things like "Hey!  Knock it off, you're old."  This makes it very hard to deny the fact that I am, indeed, "getting older."

I've been pretty good at that -- denying it -- until lately.

So what's the big deal, right?  Anybody with half a brain realizes that time doesn't stop and neither does the aging process.  While some of us might know how to slow it down, it still doesn't stop (that I know of).  And this means that we're all aging whether we bother to notice, or choose to acknowledge it, or to accept it, or not.  "Duh," right?

Well, no.  It's not that simple.  As I mentioned, it's not something everyone likes to acknowledge.   Getting older (so some say) sucks.  And if we don't acknowledge something, we very likely just think and believe it's not happening.   It's a trick.  That's how I came to believe that I'm *not* getting old.

It's simple:  don't accept it.   It's a psychotic, sociopath kinda thing.  "I don't see it, so it's not there."  However, the longer we put off accepting something like this whole aging thing, the more difficult it will be with when our internal control systems begin to throw these yawping signals in our faces.

I've been keeping a list of these signals when they pop up.  Here are fifteen of them:

1. Keeping a list of things to keep track of things that make me feel like I'm getting older.  Only old people do that.
2. I have also been noticing that, on any given day, my temperament is directly related to which pair of shoes I choose to put on in the morning. 
3. All the Navy Captains and most of the Admirals are younger then I am.  When did *that* happen?
4. I need to be getting ready for bed by 6pm and preferably horizontal in bed by 7.  If I'm not, I feel like I've been shorted on sleep when I wake up.
5. I have *never* heard of *any* of the bands, singers, or people in the Top 10 or Top 40 of anything.  I have retreated to NetFlix or AmazonPrime streaming stuff on TV and listening almost entirely to music from the 60s and 70s.  I don't watch TV anymore.  Commercials make me talk back to the TV and only crazy old people talk to the TV.
6. Gray hair.  I was fortunate enough to not have any until recently ... but now they're sneakin' in.
7. Hair (in general) that is showing up where there wasn't any before.  Like in my nose.  What's up with that?  What's next?  My *ears?*
8. I like it (and sometimes smile) when a cashier asks "May I see some ID?"  This may be a new law or just a trending practice in local binnesses (when selling adult beverages), but it's still cool.
9. Feeling the need to take naps.  I only used to need a nap at the end of the day to rest up for the next day.
10. Prices of everything are increasing and it pisses me off.  I'm almost certain there's a collective conspiracy by all of the companies and corporations to raise their prices faster than my annual income increases.  If prices are increasing, so should my paycheck, dammit.
11. It *really* pisses me off when they move stuff in the supermarket or pharmacy in some misguided attempt to make you see *other* stuff that you won't be buying anyway.  It's dumb.
12. I catch myself telling other people how old I am (like I am now).  I recently realized that the only other people who do that a lot are 4-year-olds.
13. I hear a growing number of people talking about how old *they* are and then fondly remembering things from the 80s like 'Disco,' 'Donna Summer,' and other stuff that I didn't like back then, either.
14. More and more friends, family members, and celebs are dying. And they're younger than me.
15. And lastly, at least for now anyway, I am oh so very tired of being told (by anyone and everyone everywhere) who to admire and who to look up to.  People to look up to and respect as role models are hard to find and I kind of look at it like an Easter Egg Hunt.
    
    And I like finding the Golden Eggs by myself.  There are too many yolks in the world.

JM(M)

Ever Had a Conversation with AMAZON?

This is a copy/paste of a conversation I had last night with Amazon Customer Service and then with a representative of  'The Carrier' concerning an item that was delivered, but wasn't, then was ...

It has been edited for clarity, punctuation, grammar, some narration, and stuff like that:

I ordered a cellphone case for my new cellphone on Saturday because it read “Guaranteed Delivery on Monday”.  I understood this to mean that it could be as late as 8 or 9 pm.  But that was cool, I needed it for Tuesday.  As a rule, I only order stuff that says "Guaranteed Delivery by ______" so I can plan to be around when it's delivered, if possible.

While at work Monday, I got the message from Amazon that it was delivered around 10’ish.  

Great.

I go home.  It’s not there.  It’s 5 pm’ish.

After being convinced by the concierge that it’s just. Not. There. And then looking around myself for about another hour, I go up to the apartment and connect to Amazon Customer Service.

Silly me … I thought it was going to be a person.

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Hi! It's Amazon's messaging assistant.

So, what can I help you with?

6:40 PM

An item I ordered

6:40 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:40 PM

6:40 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.

Could you confirm what went wrong, so I can help?

6:40 PM

Didn’t get it

6:40 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:40 PM

Package never arrived

6:40 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

OK, looks like the delivery status may have been updated too soon.

The good news is it should arrive soon. Give us until end of day Tue, Oct 29.

Really appreciate your patience with this. Is there anything else I can help with?

6:40 PM

Yes, I have a different question

6:40 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

So, what can I help you with?

6:40 PM

An item I ordered

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:41 PM

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.

6:41 PM

Didn’t get it

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:41 PM

Package never arrived

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

OK, looks like the delivery status may have been updated too soon.

The good news is it should arrive soon. Give us until end of day Tue, Oct 29.

Really appreciate your patience with this. Is there anything else I can help with?

6:41 PM

Yes, I have a different question

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

So, what can I help you with?

6:41 PM

An item I ordered

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:41 PM

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.

6:41 PM

Didn’t get it

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:41 PM

Need a Customer Service Associate

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

OK, I'll get someone to help you here through chat.

6:41 PM

OK, get help through chat

6:41 PM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Go ahead and type any details you think would help them understand your issue.

6:41 PM

YAY!  A person!

MICHELLE HAS JOINED & WILL BE READY TO CHAT IN JUST A MINUTE.

Michelle | Customer Service

Hello John,I understand that you have a concern about your order.I am more than happy assisting you today.

M

6:43 PM

This is at least the THIRD TIME that I've ordered something *specifically* because it was to be delivered by a certain date ... and it hasn't. "The delivery date was updated too soon?!" C'mon ... if I need an item that I ordered on Friday or Saturday to be here MONDAY (even by Monday night is good) ... and Amazon says "It'll be there." So we can't trust that? Is that what we're saying here?

(Not mad at you, I know you're just 'the messenger,' but --)

REALLY? C'mon Amazon, what's up?

6:44 PM

Michelle | Customer Service

I'm sorry for the inconvenience you've experienced in this case.

Could you please allow me a minute while I look in to this?

6:45 PM

... sure.  Do you wanna picture like Alexa did?

6:45 PM

Michelle | Customer Service

No, that's not necessary, but thank you for being so helpful!
I can see here that your item was tagged as delivered today at 10:53:49 AM

6:47 PM

Right.

But it's not "in the mailroom," the reception desk doesn't have it (the delivery guys often mark 'Left in Mailroom' when it was given to the receptionist, anyway) ... and it isn't in my mailbox (it's only a cellphone cover) ... it's not here. :/

6:48 PM

Michelle | Customer Service

Oh I see.by the way did you tried to contact the carrier about this?

6:49 PM

How would I go about doing that?

6:50 PM

Michelle | Customer Service

I can give you their contact number or I will just connect you to their department now via chat also.

May I know which do you prefer?

6:50 PM

Sure ... does the carrier have a guarantee policy for when packages aren't delivered as the system says they were?

6:51 PM

Michelle | Customer Service

kindly stay connected while I am transferring you to their department.Thank you.

6:51 PM

My issue: The system says 'Package delivered.' But it's not. The Amazon system says it was delivered, my computer got the message that it was delivered, and I'm pretty sure the carrier's system says it was delivered. But it's not here. So what do we do?

6:53 PM

YAY!  *Another* person!

BRIAN LANCE HAS JOINED & WILL BE READY TO CHAT IN JUST A MINUTE.

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Hello, my name is Brian. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.

6:54 PM

K.  Do you wanna picture of it like Alexa did?

6:54 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Hi John.  Who's Alexa?  Oh.  Very funny.
Thank you for being a prime member, I apologize if you haven't received your package yet.

Can you please provide the shipment address on the account so I can check where it was delivered to.

6:56 PM

** EDITED OUT for PRIVACY **

6:56 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Thank you.

So normally if the driver delivers the package and tagged it as delivered to the mailroom it is handed to the receptionist correct?

6:57 PM

Either or ... there are several options they have, don't know what motivates them to pick which one. If it is tagged "delivered to the mailroom," one would THINK it's in my mailbox ... sometimes it is, but it's *usually* given to the receptionist (they have bins at the front desk and they mark all packages with a Sharpie and file them/stack them in order) ... we looked, it's not here.

6:59 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Okay I see thank you for that information. As per checking there was a second scan made indicating the package was already been delivered and not a mis-scan.

So the next step would be waiting for the grace period to pass on. For us to refund the product as we have a grace period here in Amazon before we consider the item lost or missing.

7:01 PM

?! How long is that !?

7:02 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

That would be by tomorrow John. 

(A good salesman believes that he uses first names because customers supposedly like it ... it annoys me.)

This is the grace period of the package.

7:02 PM

Wow, Brian. So, my original question comes back again:  ... if I need an item that I ordered on Friday or Saturday to be here on Monday, Brian ... and Amazon says "It'll be there," I can't trust that, Brian? Is that what we're saying, Brian?"

Then the "Guaranteed delivery by __________ " means what, Brian? There's no guarantee, basically?

What's funny is, another case I ordered (shipping from China) because of this mess may very likely arrive sooner than this one with a "guaranteed" delivery date of TODAY from a local fulfillment warehouse. :/

7:05 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

This package was delivered on time wasn't it?

7:06 PM

Ummm, nope.

7:06 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Its just not there correct?

“Delivered on: Monday, October 28, 2019 On Guaranteed Delivery Date”

7:06 PM

Brian. If it's *not here,* but the system says it was , that's delivered?

7:07 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

It was delivered.

Yes.

7:07 PM

But it *wasn't!*

7:07 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

As long as its delivered its delivered.

It just wasn't received.

7:07 PM

Brian.  Dude.  Delivered = "here." "Not here" = Not delivered.

7:08 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

But it * was * delivered.

7:08 PM

Okay, "not received" means ... what?

This is funny.

7:08 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Delivered = * not here * = missing.

I know right. Its funny.

7:08 PM

AH! So if it doesn't show up by 8pm tomorrow ... we're going to say "It was delivered, but it disappeared or was stolen, so we'll send you another one?"

7:08 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

As long as its delivered on our end its delivered but it hasn't been received.

7:09 PM

Okay ... "company lingo," I guess.

7:09 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Yes we can resend another one if its not from a third party seller.

7:09 PM

But I still don't have my case for my $1000 phone (which I hope I don't drop until my case gets here!)

Lemme check ... Sold by: EasyAcc.A Store <= does that mean 3rd party seller?

7:10 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Yes.

7:10 PM

So! NOW what?

7:10 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

The only option for third party seller products are refund.

7:11 PM

You *know* this thing only cost $5.29, right?!

7:11 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Yes.

7:11 PM

So we're going to leave it at: "If it's not here by 8pm tomorrow (well, if *I don't have it in my hands* by 8pm, even if the computer *says* I do!) ... then I come back here for a refund and I reorder another one?

7:12 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Yes John.

7:12 PM

Thanks for using my name so much, Brian.  It soothes my nerves.

Please thank Alexa and Michelle for me?

7:13 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Hah hah.  Sure.  I'm really sorry that is normally how it goes for packages that are delivered and not received on the same day. We advise to wait up until tomorrow since package can either show up or be found by the next day and if not we do process the necessary actions available for the item.

I do want to prevent this from happening again would you like to include or update the delivery instructions on the account?

7:14 PM

Okay ... I still think the "Guaranteed to be delivered by" needs some work ... YES -- I'll have to update the delivery instructions to read: "HAND-DELIVER ALL PACKAGES TO RECEPTIONIST, *NOT* MAILROOM" Do you think that would work?

( ... actually, I thought I did that at one point already ... )

7:16 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Oh yea I can definitely include that one and add a preferences on just deliver it to the receptionist as an option on the account hold on.

Done.

We appreciate your feedback on that one John thank you.

7:16 PM

And you'll be sending me a complimentary AMAZON t-shirt for my troubles, right? :)

7:17 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

As much as I would love to give out a tshirt for you. Unfortunately I'm very limited to only giving out promotional certificate will that work?

7:17 PM

Sure! Can I use it to order another cellphone case?

7:18 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Hah hah.  Well, you can use it on items that are sold and fulfilled by Amazon.

7:18 PM

... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That's the trick, then ... I need to remember that "Don't order from 3rd Party guys." Promo cert. would be great, thanks!

7:18 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service

Hah hah that's all good. Anything else I can help you with today?

I'll send you the promotional certificate information via e-mail okay.

For the case please do contact us tomorrow if its still not found the next associate will assist you on where we left off.

7:20 PM

Sure ... thanks for your help ... I hope I don't drop my phone until 8pm tomorrow.

Brian also recommended a case by "RINGKE," which I also purchased ... and then ...

The case arrived (again – I guess it ‘re-arrived’)  -- 15 minutes after our conversation ended.

I have also now updated my default "Special Delivery Instructions" to read:

UNDER PENALTY OF SEVERE HUMILIATION BY PYGMY CANNIBALS:  

HAND-DELIVER *ALL* PACKAGES TO RECEPTIONIST, *NOT* MAILROOM" REPEAT:  HAND-DELIVER TO FRONT DESK PERSONNAL *ONLY*

30 October Update:  The 2nd cellphone case (the one Brian recommended) arrived today:

JM(M)