USS BATAAN (LHD 5)

Fri - Mon

10 - 13 October 2014:

Almost a 4-day weekend ... 

My wife and I spent a few hours of "off time" with the crew of USS BATAAN (LHD 5) this holiday weekend (Saturday evening).

Someone on the staff of the area Admiral thought it would be a good idea to have a reception aboard the ship for the Admiral to meet some of the local movers and shakers. To be clear: we weren't there as "movers" or "shakers." We was workin' ...

From all accounts received, the little soire went well. I wouldn't know, though. As usually happens, I stayed on the pier after all guests were aboard. But I actually prefer to hang out with the drivers, Security guys, cops, Carabinieri and other support peeps. It's become "Standard Operating Procedure." And I always enjoy meeting folks at the gate as they come in as well as all the folks who are assigned to various posts on the pier. My wife got to go aboard, though - her 1st time on a Navy ship - so that was kinda cool.

I'm not complaining, but I would have liked to go with my wife and get a picture of her in an Osprey or Hornet or something. She was well cared for, though, and properly escorted, so that was good. She was there volunteering as a translator (English-Italian and the other way around).

This time, like on other occasions after "working the gate" and all the guests have arrived for such events -- I was a sweaty mess after all was said and done. I really wasn't "presentable" nor in the mood to "be sociable."

And *this* time, I had also been sideswiped by a bus (my right side covered in bus-dirt from almost getting run over by a liberty bus) and the only returning Sailor who had too much to drink while on liberty returned to the pier and chose my car to hide behind while he ... well ... for lack of a better phrase: *puked his guts out.*

I found this out when I went to move my car later and splashed his gift on my shoes and pants cuffs ...

"When you're all sweaty and covered in bus dirt and Sailor puke, it's best not to hang around 'clean people.' Some of them don't like that."

My life. My rules.

- JM(M) -

DREAM ANALYSIS: "House of Spit and Snot"

"I HAD A DREAM!" - M.K. King, Jr.

(I did, too. But I don't think MLK's was about a house full of spit and snot.) 

Here's the best graphic illustration I could find:

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The only thing similar about that Ibex spitting in the reporter's face and my dream is ... not much.   I just thought it was funny. :)

The dream:

My wife and I were in Las Vegas (don't know why) and I was going to get the car. It's at night. I don't know, maybe we were at a casino or the "Gold and Silver Pawn Shop" or something (it's on our bucket list).

We probably weren't at a casino, because most of them have parking ... and in the dream I had to walk a few blocks from wherever we were.

I was walking uphill and it was rainy, dark and the streets were shiny just like you might imagine how they spray down a movie/TV set to look that way ... and I was thinking that in the dream "Wow, this looks like I'm walking into a murder scene in "CSI."

I couldn't figure out where the car was and eventually decided I was lost. So did I turn around? Noooo. I decided to turn to my left and open some random unmarked door to what could have been a store or an apartment building ... it was just a dark, random door.

It turns out there's nothing IN this 'building' and I end up walking through it to "the back" and out the back door. Except the "back door" didn't go back outside ... this is where it turns into "The House of Spit and Snot."

It was some kind of twisted "Fun House."

But it was weird, it wasn't a "Haunted House" like some make for Halloween, but it wasn't a "Fun Houses" anymore. Maybe they don't have 'em any more? The last one I knew of was in Bushkill, PA and it was pretty much detroyed in a flood. It had stuff in it like "stairs" that would tilt back and forth as you climbed up, a big tube that turned as you walked through it, just fast enough to keep you from being able to walk straight ... mirrors that made you look weird, stuff like that.

This was "The House of Snot and Spit." I knew because it had a big flashing neon sign that read: "House of Snot and Spit."

But it was similar to a Fun House or Haunted House in that you had to walk along a path to get through it and out the other side ... and this path was ... well, full of snot and spit.

There were little animated character heads that "spit" at you. I can't recall if they were clowns or animals or just weird little characters, but they were all definitely spitting.

At first I thought "Meh, no big deal ... water. It's not spit. But if someone spits water at you and then someone spits "spit" on you ... you can tell the difference.

Some of the heads were on the floor spitting UP at me, some of 'em were along the walls. Some of 'em were hockin' loogies (spitting snot laden spit, for those of you who never heard that phrase). Some of that snot was spit *at* me, some of them were being spit onto the floor.

And there was spit and snot that seemed to just be emanating from somewhere ... covering the walls and floors making it very slippery (slick as snot! (BWAH hah!). It was like the object of this "House of Snot and Spit" thing was to get through it without falling on your ass.

And I remember thinking that ... in the dream. "I can do this! I can make it without falling down." But I was also (duh) really not wanting to fall down ... I'd have been covered in slime and ... eeesh.

I did pretty well! I blocked spit and loogies from above and below and left and right ... and I kept my footing. Then there were stairs at the end ... stairs that went down where I could see the door out of "The House of Snot and Spit."

I made it down the stairs! I was 10 feet from the door and slipped and fell; I got up quickly, though.

The last thing I recall was, after leaving the place, I was headed back to wherever it was I came from and pleasantly surprised that I was not too covered in as much snot or spit as I had thought.

But if you're a guy and have ever had a mustache ... you know how difficult it can be to blow your nose and not be kinda gross (so you generally do that somewhere where nobody can see you if you get snot all over your moustache).

And just before I woke up, I realized I had snot all over my moustache. And I had nothing to wipe it with ... so I used my sleeve. And when I did so I realized *I WAS* all covered in slime and snot and ... well ..

Then I woke up. Wasn't drooling ... hadn't sneezed ... no snot or spit to be found anywhere. I have no idea what I might have seen, read or heard yesterday that might have put "snot and spit" in my head that a weird dream like that might have resulted.

We're always talking about moving to Las Vegas, so that explains the location setting.

I dunno. What do you think?