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29.10.19

Ever Had a Conversation with AMAZON?

This is a copy/paste of a conversation I had last night with Amazon Customer Service and then with a representative of  'The Carrier' concerning an item that was delivered, but wasn't, then was ...

It has been edited for clarity, punctuation, grammar, some narration, and stuff like that:

I ordered a cellphone case for my new cellphone on Saturday because it read “Guaranteed Delivery on Monday”.  I understood this to mean that it could be as late as 8 or 9 pm.  But that was cool, I needed it for Tuesday.  As a rule, I only order stuff that says "Guaranteed Delivery by ______" so I can plan to be around when it's delivered, if possible.

While at work Monday, I got the message from Amazon that it was delivered around 10’ish.  

Great.

I go home.  It’s not there.  It’s 5 pm’ish.

After being convinced by the concierge that it’s just. Not. There. And then looking around myself for about another hour, I go up to the apartment and connect to Amazon Customer Service.

Silly me … I thought it was going to be a person.

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Hi! It's Amazon's messaging assistant.
So, what can I help you with?

6:40 PM
An item I ordered

6:40 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:40 PM














6:40 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.
Could you confirm what went wrong, so I can help?

6:40 PM
Didn’t get it

6:40 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:40 PM
Package never arrived

6:40 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
OK, looks like the delivery status may have been updated too soon.
The good news is it should arrive soon. Give us until end of day Tue, Oct 29.
Really appreciate your patience with this. Is there anything else I can help with?

6:40 PM
Yes, I have a different question

6:40 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
So, what can I help you with?

6:40 PM
An item I ordered

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:41 PM














6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.

6:41 PM
Didn’t get it

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:41 PM
Package never arrived

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
OK, looks like the delivery status may have been updated too soon.
The good news is it should arrive soon. Give us until end of day Tue, Oct 29.
Really appreciate your patience with this. Is there anything else I can help with?

6:41 PM
Yes, I have a different question

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
So, what can I help you with?

6:41 PM
An item I ordered

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:41 PM














6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Looks like this item was delivered on Monday.

6:41 PM
Didn’t get it

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Sorry to hear that. Tell me a little more about what happened.

6:41 PM
Need a Customer Service Associate

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
OK, I'll get someone to help you here through chat.

6:41 PM
OK, get help through chat

6:41 PM
Messaging Assistant | Customer Service
Go ahead and type any details you think would help them understand your issue.

6:41 PM

YAY!  A person!
MICHELLE HAS JOINED & WILL BE READY TO CHAT IN JUST A MINUTE.
Michelle | Customer Service
Hello John,I understand that you have a concern about your order.I am more than happy assisting you today.
M
6:43 PM
This is at least the THIRD TIME that I've ordered something *specifically* because it was to be delivered by a certain date ... and it hasn't. "The delivery date was updated too soon?!" C'mon ... if I need an item that I ordered on Friday or Saturday to be here MONDAY (even by Monday night is good) ... and Amazon says "It'll be there." So we can't trust that? Is that what we're saying here?
(Not mad at you, I know you're just 'the messenger,' but --)

REALLY? C'mon Amazon, what's up?

6:44 PM
Michelle | Customer Service
I'm sorry for the inconvenience you've experienced in this case.
Could you please allow me a minute while I look in to this?

6:45 PM
... sure.  Do you wanna picture like Alexa did?

6:45 PM
Michelle | Customer Service
No, that's not necessary, but thank you for being so helpful!
I can see here that your item was tagged as delivered today at 10:53:49 AM

6:47 PM
Right.
But it's not "in the mailroom," the reception desk doesn't have it (the delivery guys often mark 'Left in Mailroom' when it was given to the receptionist, anyway) ... and it isn't in my mailbox (it's only a cellphone cover) ... it's not here. :/

6:48 PM
Michelle | Customer Service
Oh I see.by the way did you tried to contact the carrier about this?

6:49 PM
How would I go about doing that?

6:50 PM
Michelle | Customer Service
I can give you their contact number or I will just connect you to their department now via chat also.
May I know which do you prefer?

6:50 PM
Sure ... does the carrier have a guarantee policy for when packages aren't delivered as the system says they were?

6:51 PM
Michelle | Customer Service
kindly stay connected while I am transferring you to their department.Thank you.

6:51 PM
My issue: The system says 'Package delivered.' But it's not. The Amazon system says it was delivered, my computer got the message that it was delivered, and I'm pretty sure the carrier's system says it was delivered. But it's not here. So what do we do?

6:53 PM

YAY!  *Another* person!

BRIAN LANCE HAS JOINED & WILL BE READY TO CHAT IN JUST A MINUTE.

Brian Lance | Customer Service
Hello, my name is Brian. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.

6:54 PM
K.  Do you wanna picture of it like Alexa did?

6:54 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Hi John.  Who's Alexa?  Oh.  Very funny.
Thank you for being a prime member, I apologize if you haven't received your package yet.
Can you please provide the shipment address on the account so I can check where it was delivered to.

6:56 PM
** EDITED OUT for PRIVACY **

6:56 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Thank you.
So normally if the driver delivers the package and tagged it as delivered to the mailroom it is handed to the receptionist correct?

6:57 PM
Either or ... there are several options they have, don't know what motivates them to pick which one. If it is tagged "delivered to the mailroom," one would THINK it's in my mailbox ... sometimes it is, but it's *usually* given to the receptionist (they have bins at the front desk and they mark all packages with a Sharpie and file them/stack them in order) ... we looked, it's not here.

6:59 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Okay I see thank you for that information. As per checking there was a second scan made indicating the package was already been delivered and not a mis-scan.
So the next step would be waiting for the grace period to pass on. For us to refund the product as we have a grace period here in Amazon before we consider the item lost or missing.

7:01 PM
?! How long is that !?

7:02 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
That would be by tomorrow John. 

(A good salesman believes that he uses first names because customers supposedly like it ... it annoys me.)

This is the grace period of the package.

7:02 PM
Wow, Brian. So, my original question comes back again:  ... if I need an item that I ordered on Friday or Saturday to be here on Monday, Brian ... and Amazon says "It'll be there," I can't trust that, Brian? Is that what we're saying, Brian?"

Then the "Guaranteed delivery by __________ " means what, Brian? There's no guarantee, basically?

What's funny is, another case I ordered (shipping from China) because of this mess may very likely arrive sooner than this one with a "guaranteed" delivery date of TODAY from a local fulfillment warehouse. :/

7:05 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
This package was delivered on time wasn't it?

7:06 PM
Ummm, nope.
7:06 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Its just not there correct?
“Delivered on: Monday, October 28, 2019 On Guaranteed Delivery Date”

7:06 PM
Brian. If it's *not here,* but the system says it was , that's delivered?

7:07 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
It was delivered.

Yes.

7:07 PM
But it *wasn't!*

7:07 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
As long as its delivered its delivered.

It just wasn't received.

7:07 PM
Brian.  Dude.  Delivered = "here." "Not here" = Not delivered.

7:08 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
But it * was * delivered.

7:08 PM
Okay, "not received" means ... what?
This is funny.

7:08 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Delivered = * not here * = missing.
I know right. Its funny.

7:08 PM
AH! So if it doesn't show up by 8pm tomorrow ... we're going to say "It was delivered, but it disappeared or was stolen, so we'll send you another one?"

7:08 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
As long as its delivered on our end its delivered but it hasn't been received.

7:09 PM
Okay ... "company lingo," I guess.

7:09 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Yes we can resend another one if its not from a third party seller.

7:09 PM
But I still don't have my case for my $1000 phone (which I hope I don't drop until my case gets here!)
Lemme check ... Sold by: EasyAcc.A Store <= does that mean 3rd party seller?

7:10 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Yes.

7:10 PM
So! NOW what?

7:10 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
The only option for third party seller products are refund.

7:11 PM
You *know* this thing only cost $5.29, right?!

7:11 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Yes.

7:11 PM
So we're going to leave it at: "If it's not here by 8pm tomorrow (well, if *I don't have it in my hands* by 8pm, even if the computer *says* I do!) ... then I come back here for a refund and I reorder another one?

7:12 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Yes John.

7:12 PM
Thanks for using my name so much, Brian.  It soothes my nerves.
Please thank Alexa and Michelle for me?

7:13 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Hah hah.  Sure.  I'm really sorry that is normally how it goes for packages that are delivered and not received on the same day. We advise to wait up until tomorrow since package can either show up or be found by the next day and if not we do process the necessary actions available for the item.
I do want to prevent this from happening again would you like to include or update the delivery instructions on the account?

7:14 PM
Okay ... I still think the "Guaranteed to be delivered by" needs some work ... YES -- I'll have to update the delivery instructions to read: "HAND-DELIVER ALL PACKAGES TO RECEPTIONIST, *NOT* MAILROOM" Do you think that would work?
( ... actually, I thought I did that at one point already ... )

7:16 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Oh yea I can definitely include that one and add a preferences on just deliver it to the receptionist as an option on the account hold on.

Done.

We appreciate your feedback on that one John thank you.

7:16 PM
And you'll be sending me a complimentary AMAZON t-shirt for my troubles, right? :)

7:17 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
As much as I would love to give out a tshirt for you. Unfortunately I'm very limited to only giving out promotional certificate will that work?

7:17 PM
Sure! Can I use it to order another cellphone case?
7:18 PM

Brian Lance | Customer Service
Hah hah.  Well, you can use it on items that are sold and fulfilled by Amazon.

7:18 PM
... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That's the trick, then ... I need to remember that "Don't order from 3rd Party guys." Promo cert. would be great, thanks!

7:18 PM
Brian Lance | Customer Service
Hah hah that's all good. Anything else I can help you with today?
I'll send you the promotional certificate information via e-mail okay.
For the case please do contact us tomorrow if its still not found the next associate will assist you on where we left off.

7:20 PM
Sure ... thanks for your help ... I hope I don't drop my phone until 8pm tomorrow.

Brian also recommended a case by "RINGKE," which I also purchased ... and then ...

The case arrived (again – I guess it ‘re-arrived’)  -- 15 minutes after our conversation ended.

I have also now updated my default "Special Delivery Instructions" to read:


UNDER PENALTY OF SEVERE HUMILIATION BY PYGMY CANNIBALS:  

HAND-DELIVER *ALL* PACKAGES TO RECEPTIONIST, *NOT* MAILROOM" REPEAT:  HAND-DELIVER TO FRONT DESK PERSONNAL *ONLY*

30 October Update:  The 2nd cellphone case (the one Brian recommended) arrived today:


JM(M)