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15.1.19

Bigger problems in DC than Congress

Sometime last year, after a few incidents of inclement weather, I noticed that an unpopular policy of the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) was apparently going to continue be unpopular. 

It was the policy of routinely making "weather-related announcements" in a rather delayed manner (usually at around approximately 4am on the day of).   Their decisions to close or delaying the opening of federal gov't offices in D.C. by an hour or two were the subject of ridicule by many.

OPM's policy of announcing these decisions at 4am was fine by me because their 'announcement time' was a good 15 minutes before I got up.  Unlike some folks, who live a piece-ways over the ridge and who claim to be zombie-driving at 0330 every morning, I only have to walk out my front door and board a Metro train at 0450.  Then I zombie-read the newspaper aaaaalllll the way in.  It's much safer. 

I especially enjoy the extra peace and quiet on the 'delayed start' mornings when the Metro-ride is extra nice, extra empty and extra quiet and I don't have to be on the lookout for homeless people peeing in an empty seat.

When everybody is told to be late or to "plan to arrive for work no more than two hours later than they would be expected to arrive," the abnormally empty and exhaust-free streets in and around the Navy Yard are nice, and, with the exception of one other 'I don't do mornings' coworker (a guy who also used to come in early to avoid having to interact with others before all of his neurons were firing), the office was nice and extra-quiet, too. 

I remember fondly many a morning when I'd arrive at a quiet office after a quiet ride, after a nice little breakfast without standing in line ... it was nice.

I liked OPM's policy.

Empty Metro stations are quiet, peaceful and pleasant.

This year, however, things have changed.  There's been a change in OPM's policy.

And, quite frankly, I don't like it.

See, it would appear that OPM has decided to change their old policy.  They're responding to customer requests and trying to keep people happy.  They're doing the right thing.  Now, I'm sure that some think of this change as an improvement but I certainly don't.  The issue here is that, while their old policy of "Make the decision after everyone is already on their way to work" used to piss off a lot of Feds in D.C., at least I got my beffiss at the proper time!

Now, with OPM's show of thoughtfulness for their fellow man (and woman, and -- you know what I mean) and their new shiny-rainbow-and-gumdrops-policy of actually making their announcements the night before, it gives the opportunity for *both* of the breakfast shops I frequent (for either my 2nd morning coffee and a bagel or egg-sammich) to have the unmitigated gall to *also* make a parallel decision to close or open late!

So now I have to wait until *eight,* yes: *8* in the morning for my coffee and sammiches?  Hah!


No.  This needs to be fixed.  

I don't know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly-worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this!

Captain Edward J. Smith sunk with his ship, The Titanic.

I will also have to remember to give the folks at the L'Enfant Plaza "Starbucks" a tip (or maybe a "Thanks") tomorrow for opening when they were supposed to this morning (when nobody else did ... because it snowed).  If it weren't for those overachieving people at "Starbucks," I'd be in bad shape, I tell ya!  What is this world coming to?

It's a sign of the apocalyse - I'm sure of it.  I mean, what's next?  Will these sweatshop breakfast outfits also follow OPM's policies and pay their people overtime when they work more than 40 hours a week?  Will they cease threatening to fire workers who speak out about unfair and possibly illegal employment practices or working conditions?

Maybe I shouldn't complain so much.

Was that my outside voice?
JM(M)



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